What is a Linear Model of Sex?
Learn about two different models of sex 💕 + our Fall Sale 🍂 to become an Intimacy Coach 👄 Ends Halloween 🎃 at MiDNIGHt ⏰
How to Have the Sex You Want on Your Own Terms
By Jamie Azar, Certified Sex & Relationship Coach
Sex doesn’t have to be a linear experience, though when it comes to sex, society has primarily taught us that it is. We are expected to escalate activities until we reach “the ultimate goal”- penetrative sex. Yet this linear model can be extremely limiting for some people. It can create pressure, and it can leave a whole lot of people feeling uninspired and unenthusiastic about the sex they’re having.
Believe it or not, you have the power to define your own definition and models of sex, outside of the linear model. In fact, a circular model exists, which may serve as a helpful reframe to the more traditionally held linear model, or even as a launching off point for your own customized models of sex.
What is the linear model of sex? Well, it might be somewhat self-explanatory, but it is generally the predictable sequence we were taught leads to- “sex.” It might include an initial flirtatious look or suggestive touch, followed by holding hands, hugging, kissing, touching with clothes on, taking clothes off, naked touching, oral sex, penetrative sex, the big O- and then—sleepy time? As you can see, this model usually focuses on an endpoint, something to achieve or “get to” per se. We miss out on pleasure because we often think about what’s SUPPOSED to be happening in the moment instead of enjoying what IS happening in the moment.
For some, this linear model may be the prototype of magnificent sex, and for you I celebrate you and honor you and encourage you to do it all! Everyone deserves to define sex in their own way and enjoy the sex they are or aren’t having. However, I also encourage you to break through models of sex that don’t serve you, to have the courage to step outside of these confines, and embrace instead models and ideals that defy predictability, expectation, cultural and social scripts, and even automatic patterns of behavior that may be ones we follow blindly rather than ones we choose to enact creatively and unconventionally, on our own terms.
Wondering what the circular model of sex looks like and how to uses these models to create your own definition of sex?
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Ours is a community of heart-centered professionals and friends here to support you through your certification journey and beyond. If you reach out to someone, we get back to you. If you get stuck on a module, we guide you through that. Experiencing self-doubt or imposter syndrome about taking the leap into the field of psychology and sexology after graduation? We can talk you through it on a coaching call and empower you to continue your journey and embrace self- belief.
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HAVE YOU PURCHASED MOU’S NEW POETRY BOOK YET?
GET YOUR COPY OF ROCK N ROLL NIGHT FROM HELL TODAY! 🔥🔥🔥
Hello, As a sex therapist, filmmaker, and author, I’ve always believed that art and healing are deeply intertwined. Today, I’m excited to share part of my creative journey with you—my latest poetry collection, Rock N Roll Night From Hell.
This collection takes you on a sometimes wild, sometimes dark and sometimes chaotic ride, similar to the ups and downs we face in life and relationships. It explores raw and intense themes, channeling the energy of a decade (one long rock n roll night from hell ) into verses that embrace darkness and catharsis.
Here’s why this book might resonate with you:
Raw Emotion: These poems strip away the surface and dive into the turmoil beneath, much like the process of uncovering hidden feelings in therapy.
A Journey Through Chaos: Just as rock 'n' roll music has the power to bring both disarray and release, this collection speaks to the complexities of life’s ups and downs, offering moments of reflection and recovery.
Liberation in Expression: Whether in therapy, music or poetry, there's immense power in expressing what we often keep locked away. My book invites you to embrace that freedom.
I’d love for you to come get unhigned and experience this raw, emotional journey with me. You can get your copy of Rock N Roll Night From Hell today!
Thank you for being part of this vibrant sex-positive community. ♥️
Warmly,
Moushumi Ghose, MFT
Moushumi’s Poetry Substack
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